Hopping Mad

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/8381157/Adverts-will-target-individuals-to-prevent-channel-hopping.html#

Are you a notorious channel hopper?

Not any more...

No one likes adverts, see below for confirmation of this.



"love me"



For most of us adverts are a pain in the Coronation street, and are used as an opportunity to flick or "channel hop". No man wants to be subjected to a 3 minute onslaught from a celebrity shoving anti wrinkle whale blubber cream down your face because "you're worth it", which for the record is considerably less than the worth of the product, so trading is out of the question. So rather than digest nausea inducing adverts such as Lenny Henry running around a sub standard hotel screaming in our face, we opt to see what else can fill the void left by the commercial break. 

Unfortunately broadcasters are on to us, they have been for a while. You will have noticed this when suddenly you go from watching time team to this:

In a blinding panic you leap for the remote and go to the next channel only to find " mini Iggy" is there too. You flick on in a desperate rage until you get to the sanctum, the wholly grail the Nirvana that is the BBC.

god?

But for all those times your not watching the 10 o clock news or MOTD then from now on every time there is an add break your TV will automatically play adverts specifically targeted to you. Naturally Mr Media monopoly Rupert Murdoch is the first to trial this with BskyB as he steps up his plans to rule the world and ultimately the universe. A sticking point could be that this is seen as yet another invasion into our already overly monitored lives. Not to mention if you have guests round for X factor, eating crisps and berating Simon Cowell, when suddenly a deadly silence falls around the room as an advert for a Swedish penis enlarger with backing music by Barry white is breaching your Mothers eyes and ears.

Awkward

Keep your 50 cents to yourself

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3468524/50-Cent-mocks-Japanese-earthquake-victims-on-Twitter.html

BBC's latest foreign affairs correspondent 

Some people need to know when to stop talking.

50 cent's latest twitter outburst went as follows: " Look this is very serious people i had to evacuate all my people from LA, Hawaii and Japan. Lol." He later wrote: "Some of my tweets are for shock value. Hate it or love it. I'm cool". This article is another fine example of technology such as twitter being a catalyst in the incessant 24/7 bombardment of useless information and opinions of equally useless people. I have opted to write about this not because i feel it is newsworthy and almost feel a slight amount of resentment towards myself for doing so. But i more look to highlight how the coming to the foreground of sites such as twitter in our media has seen a flood of non topic specialist voices giving their opinion on things they quite frankly have no information, knowledge or experience to do so.

Yes What 50 cent said was stupider than his lyrics from his latest chart release "be a millionaire" where he states: "i ent got no love for no one accept doves". Which taken in it's literal sense means he is a keen bird enthusiast, so at least he can find someone on an equal intellectual level to engage in conversation with. Maybe for his next album he should just have two hours of dove noise, it may be less stroke inducing than his current album featuring one song that simply has "have a baby by me baby be a millionaire" on loop. Seeking out the ambitious woman then.

50 cent's new backing vocalist

But far more upsetting and detrimental to the human race is various media's willingness to publish this nonsensical dribble. Even if 50 cent provided the most intuitive and apt opinion of the recent disasters in Japan, why does his opinion get air time and inches over say an extra report from an accomplished journalist or specialist voice or a survivor of the disaster? A man who's fame is built around him Being a "motha f*ckin p.i.m.p" does not warrant such influence other anything other than being a "motha f*ckin p.i.m.p".

Bigfoot discovered

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7564646.stm

The legendary Bigfoot has been discovered (again).

Every few months he rears his ugly head (apparently) in the media to fill the void left by the lack of ufo sightings and Lochness monster pictures, who I assume must holiday in warmer climates at this time of the year.

Matt Whitton claims to have photographic evidence of the Bigfoot corpse, however as of yet he has not released the pictures to the public. So for now you will have to use your imagination. On a side note Michelle McManus is releasing a new single today.

Great tackle

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3454878/I-was-sent-off-for-tackling-streaker-and-then-streakers-tackle-got-banned-too.html

We open with this cracker from the Sun who as always is leading the way as a shining beacon to all media on note worthy news reporting. If Murdoch's monopoly continues, judging by the content of the sun we will all have regressed to the point of complete vegetation by this time next week.

Ashley Vickers’s of Dorchester Town was dismissed for a high tackle (I’ll leave the tackle jokes to those literary geniuses at the sun) on a streaker in a Borat style Mankini. In all honesty the attempts to detain the streaker were feeble at best, without Ashley Vickers heroics it could have gone on until London 2012 and become one of the events. We may even have got a gold that wasn't for rowing.

A good article none the less to highlight controversial sending’s off in sport recently. So was the ref right to send off Ashley? Or were you left feeling perplexed?